For many of us, today marks the end of our spring break and the return to school and/or work. This event is particularly difficult for me, given that I had such an amazing spring break and did not want to wake up at 5 am for my first class of the day.
I wanted to share a little bit about my spring break with those of you who follow this blog (thanks again for following). For a while, I have been in a sort of "funk" both emotionally and spiritually. I just wanted to turn my back on God completely and experience "life" on my own for a while. I came dangerously close to making that desire a reality. I think what happens is that when something bad or confusing happens in our lives, we decide to take it out on God instead of looking to him for solace. In my case, an event that was so sudden and horrible made me angry with God. I didn't understand his motives or purpose for traumatizing so many people and for causing loss and pain in the lives of people close to me and my family. So, I turned away. I became very unhappy, bitter and unsettled with nearly everything and everyone around me. I didn't like who or where I was, I wanted a change.
Every spring break there is a youth convention through the UPC churches (United Pentecostal Church) in Oregon. I was excited about going, but more excited about expanding socially than I was about getting aligned with God.
Long story shorter, I ended up having the best youth convention experience yet. God spoke to me through the preaching and reminded me that this is the truth. This, whatever this is, is my destiny and purpose in life. I don't necessarily need to understand everything that happens in this life, other than it all happens for a reason and is a part of the bigger plan. God puts us through tests and trials to test our faith in him, and it is true that I have failed as of lately. If I build a relationship with Him, I will find peace, happiness, and direction for my life. I don't know, I just feel so different. All of the messages elaborated on both things that our church has been praying for as well as the messages that our pastor and youth pastor have been preaching. Our youth group returned home on Saturday after 3 days of fun and yesterday, we had the most amazing service. Sis. Mallory (our pastor's wife) called it a "red letter day", meaning that it was the answer to prophecies our church has had; she also said that the reason I was struggling so much was because I have a special calling on my life and am a leader (apparently this makes the devil angry). Anyhow, I still don't know exactly where life will take me, but I think I'm on the right track now.
Oh and the ironic thing is, every other year I have gone to this convention I have never really made any new friends ( I thought everyone was stuck-up). This year I finally took things seriously and I met all of these super sweet, super cool people. Go figure, huh?