Friday, December 23, 2011

Let's do this all over again

I seriously cannot believe that this year is almost over.
I am in shock.
I am starting to feel like an old person, with absolutely no grasp of time! That was rude of me, not all old people have a bad sense of time. Scratch that. Anyways, I am so happy that this year happened. I learned so much and improved as a person.
I found a note that I wrote to myself at the beginning of this year and I was shocked at how different my perspective on life was. I was just so depressed and utterly dissatisfied with my life and the way that it turned out. I was NOT a likable person at all. I didn't like myself, I know that much.
I'm really glad that I allowed God to step in and rebuild the parts of my soul that were broken. Now I have nothing but pure optimism for this upcoming year. I know that God is going to do so many great things and I couldn't be happier. God spoke to me a few months ago and told me to look into youth ministries and now I am going to apply for an Apostolic Youth Missions trip to Switzerland for July of 2012. I am so insanely pumped for this amazing opportunity!
I thank God for the many new and wonderful people that I have met this year and now consider my friends (you know who you are). I am also grateful for my wonderful family, for always being there for me.
Let's do this thing, 2012!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Divine Direction?

So, I was just noticing how very lazy I have been about posting on this blog. UH..ok, so I just began my 2nd year at PCC about 2 weeks ago now, and I have pretty much already decided on changing my major. I'm pretty sure I want to switch to a Communications program, but I think I better continue to pray about that issue.

For a while now, I have been wanting to get out of Oregon. It looks like it might just happen in the summer of 2012! Not only will I get out of Oregon, but I will leave the country! YEAH BOI! Anyways, I am super ridiculously excited and I can't wait to see what happens. A little good news goes a very long way.
Looking towards my future with confidence and awesome sunglasses.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Youth Convention 2011

For many of us, today marks the end of our spring break and the return to school and/or work. This event is particularly difficult for me, given that I had such an amazing spring break and did not want to wake up at 5 am for my first class of the day.

I wanted  to share a little bit about my spring break with those of you who follow this blog (thanks again for following). For a while, I have been in a sort of "funk" both emotionally and spiritually. I just wanted to turn my back on God completely and experience "life" on my own for a while. I came dangerously close to making that desire a reality. I think what happens is that when something bad or confusing happens in our lives, we decide to take it out on God instead of looking to him for solace. In my case, an event that was so sudden and horrible made me angry with God. I didn't understand his motives or purpose for traumatizing so many people and for causing loss and pain in the lives of people close to me and my family. So, I turned away. I became very unhappy, bitter and unsettled with nearly everything and everyone around me. I didn't like who or where I was, I wanted a change. 

Every spring break there is a youth convention through the UPC churches (United Pentecostal Church) in Oregon. I was excited about going, but more excited about expanding socially  than I was about getting aligned with God.

 Long story shorter, I ended up having the best youth convention experience yet. God spoke to me through the preaching and reminded me that this is the truth. This, whatever this is, is my destiny and purpose in life. I don't necessarily need to understand everything that happens in this life, other than it all happens for a reason and is a  part of the bigger plan. God puts us through tests and trials to test our faith in him, and it is true that I have failed as of lately. If I build a relationship with Him, I will find peace, happiness, and direction for my life. I don't know, I just feel so different. All of the messages elaborated on both  things that our church has been praying for as well as the messages that our pastor and youth pastor have been preaching. Our youth group returned home on Saturday after 3 days of fun and yesterday, we had the most amazing service. Sis. Mallory (our pastor's wife) called it a "red letter day", meaning that it was the answer to prophecies our church has had; she also said that the reason I was struggling so much was because I have a special calling on my life and am a leader (apparently this makes the devil angry). Anyhow, I still don't know exactly where life will take me, but I think I'm on the right track now.

Oh and the ironic thing is, every other year I have gone to this convention I have never really made any new friends ( I thought everyone was stuck-up). This year I finally took things seriously and I met all of these super sweet, super cool people. Go figure, huh?

Thursday, March 17, 2011

1 down, akdjfdkfladkf left to go.

I am now officially done with my first term at PCC! Spring Break really couldn't have arrived at a more perfect time. I just finished my last final at about 3:30 pm, and I totally bombed that one. So, we shall see what my final grades turn out to be. So, one trimester down and about akdjfaldkfjkdf left. GAH!

Let's see...I'm not sure if I have anything terribly interesting to share... 

Well, I've returned to art, which is great! I've been taking weekend oil painting classes with my sister and grandma. These classes are in Portland, so we have seen quite a few really interesting things. Last week, when driving across the Hawthorne bridge, we saw a bunch of people dressed up in Mario costumes, pushing shopping cars that were decorated like go-carts. I'm assuming that it was some sort of Mario Cart cosplay, but I really have no idea about that stuff. It was pretty hilarious. Grown ups dressed in onesies, and running around like total dorks (all in plain sight! *gasp*).  

I am SO looking forward to Spring Break! yay. I think I may go and play rockband now. :)
Have a great mini vacation, everyone!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Bits and Crumbs

I'M BAAAAAACKKK! It has been brought to my attention, by my friend Toby, that I have not posted anything in 5 weeks. To anyone who cares, I sincerely apologize. I am not going to begin listing the very many excuses I have for not writing in 5 weeks, but just know that I have been busy finishing up my first term at the very strange, but always interesting Portland Community College. On that note, let's dig in!

Ah, 5 weeks. Many things have happened in the past 5 weeks. In fact, I probably don't remember everything that has taken place, but I will try to recall the most interesting and entertaining moments (I'm keeping things fairly limited to my school life so that things don't get too personal, OK?). So I found out that  I truly do suck at math, and that Writing is my strongest suit. Who would've guessed? I also found out that my math teacher is a bit loco and way too tough; the fact that I am going to pass his class is a miracle in itself. He's from England, and apparently he worked for NASA, as well as some other big deal research deals in the UK. He's a smart guy; too bad he thinks belittling students and failing us on tests for no apparent reason is a good teaching style. He's not a terrible person, he's actually sort of likable...just not as a teacher. Yeah, I don't recommend taking Robin McLeod as a math instructor at PCC unless you are already a genius in math and understand everything without instruction. My Business class is interesting, but I am just a terrible test-taker. You know what really makes me angry? The fact that I can sit in class, pay full attention, take excellent notes, study and get a B on every test when a couple of students who NEVER show up to class can get a 95% or higher on every single exam. That makes me furious. Writing class is an easy A, the teacher is great...the students on the other hand.... let's not even get started. I've met a few interesting people here, but I have to admit that I miss the close bond that I had with people in high school. College is just not the same, people aren't here to make friends, they have a busy lifestyle which is most likely the reason why they are attending school here. It seems like you barely scratch the surface, and then the term is over and the relationship is gone. That to me, is a little bit off-putting.

Guys check me out a lot more now that I am in college, but it's creepy. I wish I knew some ninja moves because that would be awesome. A couple weeks ago, I was wearing a very "Portland-esque" outfit. I had a plaid shirt, jean skirt, boots and a baggy beret (it's more like a beanie hat), I was walking up to the Library when I heard friendly laughter behind me. I turned around and asked the dude what was so funny. He replied with, "Aw, I was just thinking that that hat really pulls that outfit together". My response: "Umm..thanks?". I wasn't sure if he was trying to compliment or diss me, because it felt more like an insult on account of his laughter. I had a very bizarre encounter with a fellow Hilhi graduate a few weeks ago (I will not mention his name). I didn't know him particularly well, but I knew who he was. This kid was always a bit odd but I really didn't realize the extent of the oddity. I was in the cafeteria looking for something to eat as I awaited my mother's arrival (yes, I still get dropped off and picked up by my mom...MY CAR DOESN'T WORK!), when I saw this kid from my graduating class. I was friendly, I made small-talk, but I really just wanted to eat my food. I sat down, and he asked if he could join me. Ok, not a big deal. Then he starts asking me why I am only now beginning at PCC. I told him my whole nightmare story about the Art Institute of Portland, when he reaches into his backpack and pulls out a notebook. He begins to tell me that he has these ideas for a sci-fi/ fantasy book series, which will eventually become major motion pictures as well as video games. He then asks me if I would like to work on the  artwork for these projects as a video game designer. Ummm...what? I never said I could do video game art. I was only at the Art Institute for a week, and I was there for Graphic Design! Because I am a very stupid person, I said I would only do one character, and that it would be in the form of a painting. That appeased him and he went on his merry, but cuckoo, way. I started to feel more and more uncomfortable with the idea of encouraging such illusions of grandeur and finally decided to send him a message saying that I was pressed for time and that it just wouldn't be able to help out, but that I wished him luck. He has been avoiding me like the plague ever since.There are many more weird stories, but it's been a while, and I tend to forget things.

I am currently registered for Spring term and will be taking finals pretty much all of next week. I don't know what my plans are after Spring term, but that's okay. I think it's just best if I live life one day at a time. I have enough stress as it is. I need a working, reliable, yet cheap car ASAP, I am looking for a job, and I have bills to pay. Whoever said being an adult was something to look forward to was a dirty, rotten liar. Anyways, I think this is enough for now. I'll try to update this blog more often than I have been. I hope you all have a wonderful day! :)

Saturday, January 29, 2011


I have lived in the Portland area for about 18 years now, and I have only just realized how weird and insane it is. I chalk it up to being completely oblivious. It's true though, all of the weird things that people say about Portland.

People take the saying, "Keep Portland Weird" very seriously. Weird people doing weird things, looking all sorts of freaky ways, tattooed up to the wazoo. You know what's worse? Up until recently, I thought all of this was completely "normal". Bicyclists everywhere like roaches, weird street performers, man the list can go on for years. Only in Portland do people care more about the environment than about human life. Did you know, that Portland is one of the most "tattooed" cities in the USA? It's not necesssarily normal for every teenager to get a tattoo as soon as they turn 18, but in Portland it's 100% acceptable. It's laughable, really.

Don't get me wrong, I think Portland is hands-down one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I am simply comenting on a few (yes, there are many more) of it's many oddities. That's all. ok. goodbye.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Laugh it off and lose some weight

So, this is officially my first blog EVER!!! It just seemed like this would be the perfect time, and why not? With all of the time I spend on Facebook, I can afford to time manage and have a blog. Yes, I'll admit it, I AM A FACEBOOK ADDICT!

I just recently started attending Portland Community College, in fact today marked the end of my 4th week. I have to say, I really like it so far. People are strange, and that keeps me so amused and entertained. The other day, I came across some dude who randomly decided to meditate. I guess the clip-clop of my high heels disturbed him, because he literally jumped up, glared at me and RAN away. It was absolutely hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious, the kids in my English class: Mentally challenged. The set up of the classroom is strange, but one side of the classroom is normal (obviously the side I sit on), and the other side of the classroom holds complete idiots. It seems that the "idiotic" kids feel like they are authorities on writing or something. Every time that we do class critiques of other student's writing, they start chomping at the bit, and before you know it the vultures have torn your paper to shreds. If they were so much better at writing, shouldn't they be in a higher level writing class? so stupid.
 On Monday, the teacher asked one of these annoying student's how their weekend was. This was her response, "Not very good, I slept horribly! I had a ton of nightmares, because my room is always cold, and you know there is a study about how sleeping in a cold room contributes to nightmares? Anyways, I keep having these terribly strange dreams, like I always end up accidentally killing someone in my dreams. In my dream last night I find a body in a pond, and somehow I ended up stabbing someone in the stomach and had the waste ALL over me! It was disgusting!" <------- Disturbed much? I mean, it was a rhetorical question!!!

Ah, I don't know. I know I am where I am supposed to be at this point in my life, but boy are people weird. Laugh it off, you might just lose some weight (Lord knows I better burn off some of this butter)!!