Passion is Irrelevant

2017 and the majority of 2018 (thus far) have been very eventful, and might I even dare say, transformative. Not just for me, but seemingly for most of my friends and family as well. Personally, I've grown in leaps and bounds, and have accepted aspects of myself that I previously fought very hard against. I went to trade school and did my licensing exam and became a Licensed Massage Therapist, which was very cool indeed, except I very quickly realized that it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. I fell into this depression based around the idea that I had failed in some sort of catastrophic way, and no matter what anyone said to me, or how hard I tried to believe otherwise, I stayed in the emotional pit for several months. I'm still working on getting to a better place, mentally, if I'm being honest. During this time, I decided I needed to find a career or something in life that I was "passionate" about, something that I would enjoy doing and could possibly make some cash off of as well. So, I decided to put more effort into my art and to pursue art shows for exposure. I created a little art business called Synesthesia Art Studio, and participated in a RAW Art Showcase and then more recently in a local art community called Ladies N' Art. It's been fun, and it's been a few things crossed off of my bucket list, but "passion" wasn't making me any happier or any more successful. Not only that, but in my inexplicable and debilitating depression, it wasn't enough to motivate me to work on anything new. So I stayed home for several months, unemployed, just trying to figure out the next step. The problem with being home, alone, with no clear direction or purpose is that I began to live in my own head and social interaction became more and more difficult. I suffered with overthinking every scenario and wondering if my life had any meaning, or if it never will, since studies show that people living without purpose have shorter life expectancies? Then I began to wonder how close friends didn't call or text to check in,  and if anyone even knew I was alive or even cared, or if perhaps they also were too engulfed in their own lives or in they lives they pretend to have on social media to even check into reality; the very real people around them? This period of time reshaped the way that I think about the world, it convicted me of my own shortcomings, and made me evaluate what I give time and value to in the fleeting experience called life. I'm not sharing any of this for pity, or to make anyone feel badly for not checking in, I'm sharing this because, well...sometimes its ok to admit defeat and share that your well laid out plans didn't quite turn up roses. THAT'S OK. I don't regret a thing, and my mental health was beyond my control. Sometimes you have to feel the rain, before you can enjoy the sun.

I kept focusing on "PASSION" and it became my ill advised motto. I would see posts about passion everywhere on the internet and I began taking it as a sign from a Higher power, urging me to stay on task with my art and with my mission of finding a career that would just magically make me a happier, more fulfilled individual. Last week I got a good dose of reality when I attended Parker Seminars at my old school with Allen. They had a guest speaker named Larry Winget, who definitely did not mince words. He began talking about how "passion" is essentially a curse and how its a horrible basis for a business, as it encourages inconsistency. He explained how the literal definition of "passion" is , "a strong, and barely controllable emotion", and questioned how anyone would trust someone who built a business off of uncontrollable emotions. Larry then stated that the only way to be successful is hard work and excellence, passion has nothing to do with it. It was a concept that literally opened my eyes. Why had I not realized this sooner? Everyone wants to have a passionate relationship, a career they are passionate about, but are they willing to work for it? Emotions are unpredictable and not always consistent, what happens when that emotion passes? Maybe this is why so many marriages end in divorce, why so many people endure volatile relationships, all because of their unmanageable emotions. Passion is completely and utterly irrelevant, yet in our society we use it as a word to measure our happiness and success. Well, are you passionate about what you're doing? That's all the matters, right? Wrong. It's very rare to see someone who intentionally does not control their emotions end up in a place of leadership in the corporate world. They would be considered unprofessional, and no one would, or even should, trust their judgement. My new motto is to apply excellence and hard work to my talents and gifts and see where that takes me, instead of waiting on my emotions to guide me.

Life is weird. Its a weird life, for sure. It can be a great life too, as long as we stay intentional and open to admitting when we are completely out of our depth. You have to work for an extraordinary life, no one will hand it to you.